Don't forget the baby!

Finally! 10 PM has made its way into the day and I’ve given in to Exhaustion. Grab my phone and I’m off to make baby bottles for the night, so I don’t have to come downstairs half asleep later. I ask Justin to bring a clean laundry basket up with him, take bottles (with pre-measured formula and rice) upstairs, grab the baby monitor off the banister where Brittany left it, and give her a bottle for the morning. Justin calls to me from downstairs, laundry basket in hand, “What are you doing?” I respond, “Uhh… going to the bedroom.” Duh. He continues, “Did you forget the baby?” Uhh… mental scan of each child's whereabouts... shit. Yes. Yes I did forget the baby, who is snoozing away in his swing… downstairs.

Back down the stairs I go to fetch the sleeping infant. I would love for him to be already sleeping in his crib, however he believes that, while falling asleep at 8 PM is okay, sleeping in his crib before 10 PM is not. So, I grab the baby and back upstairs I go. The dogs won’t go upstairs with Justin because I’m still downstairs, and really, who wants to go to upstairs when someone is still downstairs? Okay, I will go back for them.

Now, we have a door style gate at the bottom of our stairs to “help” keep the toddler and dogs downstairs and in sight of at least one adult. This set-up however, is a complete danger and nuisance. Have you ever tried carrying a laundry basket downstairs, while attempting to bend forward to fight with a gate, without toppling onto the 2 year old on the other side of the gate that is asking, “What are you doing?... Why?... Why Mommy?... Why?” It’s even harder to do than it is to explain. If that weren’t enough of a problem, try coaxing two dogs to go through the door and up the stairs while you’re holding it open. It doesn’t happen. What DOES happen is:

-        You hold the door and beg the dogs to go through the gate and up the stairs, neither do.

-        You give up, leave the gate ajar and go up the stairs, at which point you stop and continue to attempt to coax them through the gate with phrases like “C’mon! You can you it!” and “C’mon! Let’s go to bed! It’s bedtime!” All while fake smiling in hopes they think you’re happy with them.

-        Finally, ONE dog comes through the gate and up the stairs! The other dog loses interest and disappears into the darkness.

-        You walk back down the stairs, with the first dog in tow, to find dog #2.

-        You proceed to chase dog #2 around the coffee table, through the kitchen, around the dining room table, back through the kitchen and finally trap the pea-brained creature by the front door.

-        You pick up dog #2 and make your way back to the stairs where dog #1 is waiting on the other side of the gate.

-        Open the gate with 25lb dog #2 in one arm, while not tripping over or releasing dog #1 from the stair way.

-        Do no trip over either dog while they slowly walk/hop up the stairs.

-        Contain the beasts in their respective kennels for the night.

The moral of the story is… never buy a 2-story house.